12Feb2013

Didn't expect to get such a news when its in Chinese New Year, rather it be i'm still 21 years old now. A sudden call at a random time on the 2nd day of CNY from my ITE lecturer after I graduated 2 years ago. I thought it would be a call like: "Happy Chinese New Year Zy! We are gonna have a class reunion soon, can you come?" some sort of a phone call that i expecting, yet it wasn't. It was rather:  "Happy Chinese New Year Zy! Do you know that Fir is in the hospital now, ICU?" and I totally went blanked, shivering and shocked while i was halfway celebrating CNY. My mood totally changed and I got damn scared, didn't know wtf I should even do. Called WJ, Aaron, Terence to tell them about the news and noone believe me, thinking that i was joking also. 

Seriously, I still hoped that it was a joke but it wasn't. Decided a time with them and I met them together to go KTPH that night to go see Fi. Reached the hospital and I saw Fi, lying there inside the ICU isolated from us, there my heart sank and broke, knowing that I couldn't do anything to make him feel better. Went out to find the rest of my classmates but had to go console his mum first, and his mum told us about what had happened and when he got into the hospital. She even told me not to cry and just pray for his condition to be stable which I did. Talked to the rest outside the wards and we began thinking about the past. Left around 9+ or 10? with wj, aaron they all back to Yishun. That night, I really prayed for your condition to be stable and you will recover soon. I swear I couldn't even sleep well..

13th Feb 2013

Forgotten what time I woke yet I went out to settle errands and stuffs, thinking I could just meet the rest to go visit you at the hospital ard 4+ after im done with my personal things. A phone call and SMS came at 3+, I dropped my phone upon knowing the news, rush out of the house, took a cab down to KTPH. My heart literally broke into pieces, I cried my way to the hospital on the cab, even the cab driver didn't know what to do. I really died inside out knowing that you left all of us behind first. Isn't this suppose to be like 30-40+ years later then you get the news of someone you loved gone? 

Why, Why did you leave us all behind just like that, yet I can't blame you, cos you didn't want it this way too. I know how much you can't bare to see all your loved ones being sad and all. We all know you did your best in fighting this battle and really a hard one, after your heart stopped so many times, you still fight your way  back to us till the end. We are damn proud of you okay? Really, I am, I'm sure, just that i'm not ready yet for you to be gone so fast and away so far from us. 

Your mum kept telling me to be strong and not cry becos you won't wanna see me in this state and there I remembered you always telling me not to cry cos I will look damn ugly, but how to not cry? You just lied there infront of me on the bed, so coldly, you didn't even see me for the last time or even scold me for anything random that I always do. I really have alot of things still to tell you but there's no more chance anymore. :'( 

14th Feb 2013

The day of your funeral and where you will be buried deep down somewhere we can always visit you. I called the juniors and your friends the night before, telling them about the news and where they could see you for the last time. Everyone was shocked, noone wanna believe it either but most of them came down. We waited for you to come back to your clementi home. Your family members prepared all the wake stuffs and there I was waiting to get my chance to bid you good bye. I controlled my tears, got my chance to say good bye to you and your mum told me its my last chance to kiss you goodbye, so I did. You were damn cold but I kissed your forehead and said goodbye to you. Cried like mad but not letting you see it. I'm glad Michael they all were there too and I had a shoulder to cry on, they all comforted me like how you would always do to me. 

After that everyone of them left except me, Skip and our classmates, we went to your new home to send you off. My heart was damn sour at that moment but I really couldn't bare to see you being buried either, yet I had too. We all came together with you yet we left you behind, our FA0904V will never be the same without you now. Everyone did their prayers for you after that. Before I left your Clementi home, I gave your mum a big hug and told her I would be strong and smile on, she just told me that I could contact her through your number still as they will keep it on 24/7 still, which was damn sweet. Your mum and dad are very strong, I really salute them so you must protect them up above okay? 

My 2013 Valentine was spend with you along with so many of you loved ones, did you felt all the love that day? I really wondered that question that day..

So many words left unsaid, So many things yet done with you, So much regrets, So much to catch up with you yet there's no more chances already, So much to miss from you such as those random texts you always send me whenever you're drunk, the list will go on and on.. I miss you my best friend, now, always, forever, eternity..

Graduation where only the lucky ones survived, that day you looked really smart! 

FA0904V, The best class, best memories, best epic crazy stuffs we all did with you and graduated. 

The following link is a Video which Surah complied together for Fi: http://www.facebook.com/video/embed?video_id=10151482868343489

Thank you for fighting so hard in this sudden battle for all your loved ones and friends, you did us proud. Now you will be our favourite gentle giant guardian angel protecting all of us up above. God love you more than us way too much. We will stay strong and fulfill all the dreams you have for us. May you rest in peace my best favourite loving giant, you'll be deeply missed and loved by all of us.